Only 4 weeks left in California...

So the time is passing by fast, doesn't it? At least it seems like that sometimes. 4 months has almost passed since I came back here to L.A or O.C to be more exact. It sounds like a long time when you think about it, but it really isn't.

To sum up my year here I have to say that it's definitely been one of the best years of my life, yes it's true it feels like that. Because I feel that I haven't been this happy for such a long period of time in my life as I have been while being here. And that's what I'm gonna remember when I go back, and maybe falls into a minor "depression" No, we shouldn't say that, but it might happen if it's to boring. I came here to chase my dream, acting. But what I found wasn't exactly a career, beacuse it's hard, especially when you're not an american citizen and also to begin a career from basically nothing, or very little to something major is not really something you do in a years time. But what has been so great is all the ppl that I've met and gotten to know, and also that I feel that I've evolved and grown so much as a person. And that is invaluable! I know I wrote a similar post recently so I shouldn't go in to it that much deeper.

Although, a part of me is starting to long to go back home. I don't know if it's mentally because I know that it's soon or because my friend's are there. Probably both, and because I feel that I need that "solitude", "stability" and "security" that might not exist in the same matter here. Even if I would have no problem living here, if all of my friends were here too! And I'm eager to start the Theatre School, if I get accepted that is. Which I really hope I do, then I'll have 3 awesome years ahead of me! We'll have to see what happens, I promise to keep you guys updated!

I'm also longing for the Swedish guys! Ha ha, yes, there's a huge difference in guys here and in Sweden. Now, if I may have the right to be shallow for a moment. I'm talking about the looks. Yes, I love the blonde, well dressed and preppy guy, that's kinda rare here. And I know that I'm gonna be so overwhelmed when I go out, maybe not just to the clubs, but just walking down the streets of Gothenburg or anywhere for that matter, because I'm gonna see these gorgeous guys a lot! I can't wait. But that doesn't mean that anyone of them are gonna be mine. That hasn't happen for the last 3,5 years, so why should it happen now? Ha ha, I guess I'll just have to have faith and hope that someday, somewhere he's waiting for me, and when he does I'll know and I'll feel it. I believe that "love at first sight" exists, and I'm gonna find it! Even if it's gonna take me a while!

OK, I'm gonna have to fix my B-day present for Charlie now, she's going away to teach Pole Dancing, and I'm gonna take the time while she's gone to finish it! So when she comes home again she's gonna get it! I hope she likes it!

Take care!

//Frieda K*

Growth can come faster than you know...

When I look back at my previous posts I realise just how much I've grown in ohnly the last year, since I came here to L.A. Or maybe grown is the wrong word, I would say that I've matured. Yeah that's more the suited word. I feel that I've come to terms with who I am, what I want in life, maybe how I should get it but also what's important to me. Things I didn't see before. What I mean is that I've realised that friends mean a lot to me and that sometimes that safe and secure world that actually exsists in Sweden is more important than I thought when I actually lived there.

It is so easy to forget the "good" and "solid" things when you're sorrounded by them constantly. It's easy to take them for granted. Which I think I sometimes did. And the easy, sometimes "boring" life as I used to say my life in Sweden was, was not something I really though I'd miss when I came here. But I do. It comes down to the fact that it's what you make of your life and the ppl around you and it becomes what you make it to become. If you're gonna go around and dislike your life because of some reason and just get up every morning thinking that it is that way, then ofcourse it's going to be. But if you get up and try to look on the positive side and have a positive attitude towards it and try to enjoy the good things, even if they might not be big. Then it will be that way! I know it might not always be easy. But I'vbe tried to do that lately and it works. Ok, I'm over here in the Entertainmnet Capitol of the world, living in a fancy house, going to school studying acting, having a good friend with me most of the times, sunlight, and lots of things to do. Then of coursde it's easy for me to sit here and say that you should enjoy life. But I've also realised that in this midst of overwhelmingness that exist here I actually miss the simple life in Sweden, and amy friends ofcourse (which i've stated many times!). I love being here in L.A, don't get me wrong there and I don't regret for a second that I decided to come here the first time, and also going back the second time this semester.

But, if I were to move here and create a life, an everyday normal life for myself thing would change drastically. Let's just say that I wouldn't get a part in a movie or TV show. Then I'd have to try to find a job, if I could, but let's just say that I could. I'd take myself, my social status (being middle or working class, cuz that's what I am in Sweden) move it from Sweden to here, it'd not be the same at all. The job would take all my time, and I probably wouldn't get paid as good as I would in Sweden. I'd have to find an apartment, but I couldn't afford to live by myself so I'd probably have to get two or three roommates since the rents are so high. So I'd probably live in a small space with other ppl paying just as much for a room as I would for an own apt in Sweden. And then I'd have to get medical insurance, which is not cheap. So my entire salary would probably go to paying bills. If I'd met someone and eventually we'd have a kid, I could only stay home as a mom for about 6 weeks before I have to go back to work and my expenses would be even higher. I'd have to put off a lot of money every month to my kids College fund and I would not have time or energy to do all the fun stuff I do know, and if I by any chance would be pregnant unplanned, causwe those things can happen evem with birth control pills, I'd probably have to keep it anyhow since it's not as easy to consider abortion. Ok, I'll just stop there.

I'm sorry, I'm not meaning to trash USA, it's a wonderful country in so many ways! And I love it here! But it's just the fact that as a middle or working class woman that I am I could not have the same "good" life as I can in Sweden. So basiclly what I want to say is, well I'm not really sure actually. I guess I just want to say that Swedes should appreciate what they have and what a great country it actually is. Even if there are many flaws and issues that needs to be dealth with. I just wish I could have both worlds. Oh, shit I've totally mixed so many things in this post, I'm not even sure if any of it makes any sense, but I hope no one from any of the countries take this the wrong way. Cuz I totally love both Sweden and L.A. And it is because of my visit and stay here that I've become this "new" person that I kinda feel that I am. And that would not have been possible without L.A. And i'll forever be grateful to that. I just hope and wish that more ppl come here and go through what I've been through. It's a really nice experince and I'll miss this place till' death! I'm really confused, sorry again. I'm just rambling on.

But ok, I think I'm just gonna end this post right now before I start going off the deep end I don't know just write more strange stuff. As a last thing I just want to say that I feel like a new person, seriously. I have a new perspective on life, how to approach it, what to appreciate, and what not to waste so much time on. And also, love and guys comes when it's ready, no need to rush. (ha ha, you never thought I'd say that did you!) If I'd been in a relationship I'd never have gone here, and to think that I'd miss all this makes me really scared. Ok, just don't read in t much of what I've written in this post, sometimes the thoughts in my head and the words that actually comes out and forms into words are not always the same, it kinda collapses or crashes along the way...

Until next time...TAKE CARE and BE SAFE! Love You ALL! You know who you are! =)

Gothenburg and L.A/O.C (I know it's different, but these are the two places I feel "home")

Where one "vacation" ends, another begins...

Hi Folks!

Hope you're all doing fine. I'm kinda tired, I should be getting to bed soon, and not sitting her blogging. But I just felt like giving a short update. I talked to my mum just a little while ago and she wants me to decide where we're going to stay when we're in Thailand! Yes, I'm coming home to Sweden in Dec, then in early Feb I'm leaving again, but only for 2 weeks to go to Thailand with my mum! I can't wait. It's gonna be so much fun. I guess I'll have to work on my tan over there, because it hasn't really been "growing" so much here in L.A this semester. The weather's been a little worse, and I just haven't had the time to go to the beach as much. But we'll see, maybe I'll be able to spend a few more hours by the pool or the beach before I go back. But it's gonna be so nice to leave again, and the best part is that Sofie and her family is leaving on the 9th of February to go to Thailand too! But not to the exact same place, but close. So hopefully we can meet up while we're there.

Here's a picture of the place and the hotel I choose:

I'm watching the California Governor election right now, and it looks like Jerry Brown is in the lead. I'm not all that informed on which candidate is the best, but from the little I do know I hope it's him that wins, he's a democrat (as close to the red party in Sweden as it can get, but still not close) and he wants to help the middle class to have it better and to keep it. So I think that's good. The other candidate is Meg Whitman, I think she's just another money horny republican.

Anyways, there was something else I wanted to cover in today's post but I can't seem to remember what it was...I guess I'll figure it out and then I can write it in the next post.

Until then, take care...I'll leave you with this picture of me as a witch for this years Halloween!

Kisses and Hugs; //Frieda K*

Long time no see...

I know I haven't updated this thing in quite a while. But I started my videoblog instead. It's somteimes easier to get a lot more said in a video at once when you talk. If I'd have to write as much I said there I'd take me forever. But sometimes it's also nice to write, so I'll devide the time. Sometimes write and sometimes videoblog post.

I called Air Canada last night to re-arrange my flight ticket home. There had been some connecting issues on the way home. I had to wait in line 45 min before it was all done! Thank god for speaker phones so you cna put the phone down and eat at the same time. =) But now I got a much better route now than I had before. Instead of leaving at 06.54 I leave at 08.00 and going straight from LAX to Toronto and then to London and from there to Gothenburg. I'll touch down in Svedala at the same time as before, 12.25 on Dec 20. And hopefully I won't be travelling alone. I'm gonna bring my husband with me. Ha Ha no! Just kidding. Claire is going to Gbg to visit her dad and aunt for a month so we're gonna travel together. I mean, we're leaving from the same city going to the same city on the same date, so why not try to get on the same plane(s)? So hopefully she suceeds in booking herself on the same route as me! That would be so much more fun than travelling alone, once again.

Ok, so now I've found yet another great TV show that I've gotten hooked to! Thanks very much Sofie! I'm not sure if it airs in Sweden or if she's downloading it. But it's called "Pretty little liars" it is kinda lika Gossip Girl and all those other teen TV shows. But I like it a lot, probably because I love Gossip Girl, and oh tonight there's a new episode! Yey. And there's a guy in PLL that's freaking hot! I'll post a pic of him at the end of this post. Yes he's this weeks babe. Sorry Hanna for stealing your thing with the babe of the week, but I like the concept...

So, it's only 7 weeks left until you guys over in Sweden see me again! I have very mixed feelings about going back. Part of me want s to stay here, but another part wants to come back. If all of you great friends and mum would be here I would probably not want to go back to Sweden. But no matter how succesful I become over here, if I'm alone at the top without my friends and family, it's not worth anything. Cuz i'd be all alone, and friendship is so important to me. That's probably why i couldn't live her permanently. But we'll see what happens. I'll come home, move back to my apt with Sofie! Yes, for you guys who did not know, me and Sofie are gonna move in together. To save money and just for the company. I've lived with ppl for over a year now and it's gonna be very lonley to live alone. So yeah, we're gonna be roommates! =) Anyways, someone here asked me: "If you could stay here, and work here legally, would you stay or would you go back to Sweden?" I replied: "Well, I'd definatley have a harder time deciding between the two. But, if my friends and family are in Sweden and I'm here alone. I'd probably feel very lonley and not be able to enjoy the "stardom" as much as I would want. If it wasn't a role in Bones, then I'd stay!" Ha ha. No, but seriously. You guys mean the world to me! It's easy to take ppl for granted when they're there around you all the time, but when you feel the distance and can't see or talk to them whenever you want. Or share your ups and downs witht them, you realize just how important and valuable true friends are!

So, I'm gonna fight my way to the top in the Swedish acting market, and then we'll see what happens, I want to go to Chicago for a few months. But I guess I'll have to save the money for that first...

Enjoy this weeks babe; Ian Harding

//Frieda K*