Hi there!
English is the language today. It seems like that's the appropriate language whenever I'm in a bad or sad mode. Which I am at the moment. So what has made me sad today, you might think? Well, I just feel that there's way to many dissapointments in my life right now. Not just in the financial department, I've kinda gotten used to that by now. No, I feel that it's other stuff that's bothering me. Or maybe I'm just a sensitive person reading to much into stuff and being affected more then neccecary. I don't know. I don't know anything nowadays.To start this of I got an email from the school today saying that two of the courses I'd applied for I was not able to choose, since I had to take two other courses before taking these. And those other two courses don't start during spring semester but during fall semester. Gosh! So annoying. Those were two really good courses that I really wanted to take, voice and movement on stage and acting 2. So now I have to swift through the course catalouge again in order to chose two other courses that I want to take. And there aren't many good acting courses left to apply for. So maybe I'll chose some interesting american courses, or something else that might be interesting to learn while I'm over there.
Another dissapointment is relationships and things not turning out the way you thought they would. I'm so sick of things not going my way. I feel like I can't trust anyone but myself these days. It's true what Mulder from The X files says: "trust no one". I'm gonna stick by that because whenever I open up to someone or trust what ppl say to be true and actually turn out like they said from the beginning. Well, it just doesn't.
And last but not least, I really don't know what this was. But it's that sad and angry feeling that's been occupying my soul for quite some time now. I really don't know why it's there and where it came from. I just now that I feel really sad, lonley and angry at the moment. And the biggest frustration isn't that I feel this way but that I don't know why I feel this way. I'm really hoping that things get better when (if) I go to the States. I am kinda counting on the fact that a whole new life will begin for me when I get there, and that I will finally find myself and by doing so finding happiness and get hrid of this feeling and my other demons and issues once and for all. What my other demons and issues are I'll tell you some other time...
I'm not really sure if when I get to USA I'm gonna blog in Eng or in Swe? It feels kinda wrong blogging from America in Swedish, since there might be some americans reading this blog, aswell as my swedish friends. Anyways, that's a matter to deal with later.
I think I'm gonna go out for a smoke, then grab a sandwich or two, lie myself on the couch and just zap around until I find something interesting to watch. Or maybe just lie and listen to sad music and think... or on second thought, no. To much thinking can make you crazy. So I think it's the prior option.
I bought a new calender yesterday and in that calender are some great quotes that I want to share with you, so until next time. Read these quotes and think about what you have and the ppl around you. And trust yourself, cause that's the only person in your life who will never let you down, or maybe. But anyway. Take care!
XoXo Frieda K*
"The true waste of time is counting the hours""The biggest misstake you can make in life, is constantly fearing of making one""The hardest thing when you've had sucess is to find someone who's happy for you""Love is like a sprain, it comes easier the second time""What I hear I forget, what I see I remember, what I do I know""As long as we keep a secret to ourselves, it's our prisoner, but when we reveal it, we become its' prisoner" "There's no one so poor that he can't help, and no one so rich that he doesn't need help"
