Help me decide!

Yes I need your help ppl! I almost have a room in an apartment in O.C. But I'm not sure if I'm gonna take it or not. So I need your help. Well, I'm almost sure. But I'll tell you why I'm hesitating...

There are more advantages then disadvanteges to stay at this place actually, but the thing that's keeping me from accepting the offer is the fact that I'll be living with Swedish ppl. Not that that's anything wrong, but since I'm going to USA to get "away" from Sweden and the swedish mentality for a while it's not exactly helping by staying at a place with swedes. I want to stay at a place with native Americans. But maybe I can't afford to be this picky. Especially since I'm kinda late looking for a place and the fact that this place is a really good deal. The place has jacuzzis and a big nice pool. The apartment has a balcony and two bedroms, one livingroom and one kitchen. The guy who lives there also has a car! Which means that he can teach me how to drive in America. He hasn't said that he will but I'll force him, since I'm gonna take the opportunity to take a driver's licence when I'm there. First because it's a lot cheaper. Only 28$! And almost all of the cars have automatic sticks. So it's hopefully not gonna be that hard to learn how to drive. I have taken a few driver's lessons here in Sweden, but I have a hard time with the manuell stick and get it into the right gear. But I guess practice makes perfect...

Well, back to what I was talking about before I switched the subject. This guy is looking for a roommate and I can move in anytime if I decide to share the place. I have contact with another swedish girl in Cali, and she doesn't have a place either. So if we both were to move in at this guys place the rent would lower drastically, and we would have to pay around 3000 kr each. That's 1000 less then I pay for my apart. here in Sweden! So I would definatley benefit by this offer...

So my question to you, the readers is; Shall I take this offer or shall I contunie to look for a place with Americans? Maybe I'm beeing stupied and so for wanting to live with natives. But I just feel that if I decide to stayy with swedes it would feel like I'm on vacation and I would also have a harder time letting go of the "ties" to Sweden and focus on the American lifestyle. However, my friend Sofie said to me that I'll meet Americans in school and when I go out, and this guy also has a lot of American friends, so meeting new friends being Americans might not be that hard after all even if I would stay in a "swedish" household.

What else is new? Not that much. I started packing two days ago, and doing so I realised that maybe I should have started a little earlier. But you know me, always out in the last second! Sometimes I get so annoyed with myself...I wonder why...

I have so much clothes! And somehow when you go away, you have to have all of them with you. Even if you don't use half of them when you're home. But what if I want to wear this over there? Well, I tried to sort out as good as I could. When I had finsihed packing the bag I put it on the scale, and it was exactly 25 kilos!! Am I good or what!? So no more stuff can fit in that bag. I have a few stuff left that has to be packed. Like my computer, some pictures, toilet stuff and some other gadjets. I wanted to try to keep it to one bag, but being a girl, it's nearly impossible. So I'm going to have to bring two bags, but the second bag is only going to be half full, so I can add all of the stuff I'll by in USA. =)

Tomorrow I have my big Goodbye party! It's going to be so much fun, and so much ppl! I have invited to many ppl over!! I wonder how the hell all of us will fit, but it will just have to work. I hoped that a few ppl would turn down the invitation, but instead more ppl asked if they could come. And being the kind and understanding woman that I am, I couldn't say no. Well, it's one night. I think we'll make it work. It's however, going to be hard to say goodbye to some ppl. Some of them are "shallow" friends. But most of them are really close friends, and it's not easy saying goodbye to such ppl. But this is something that I want to do, and have to do. I know I'll see them again. In six months. Cuz I'm coming home over the summer. But as hard as it's going to be for me, I think it's going to be even harder for them. Since they'll be stuck here doing everyday things, living the normal life while I'm over there exploring and living new interesting stuff and meeting new and interesting ppl. Well, I quote Leone Lewis: "It will all get better in time". As hard as it may seem, it's true. And before they and I know it, I'll be back again!

I suddenly got very thursty, so I think I'm gonna have something to drink.

Well, we'll talk later...

Take care...and if you're interested in what the place I was talking about looks like, here's a peek...

XoXo - Frieda K*

Everything's set for the big adventure, but my emotions are not...

Yes it is indeed! The day is getting closer and closer and I'm starting to get more and more nervous each day that passes by. The nervousness is shifting however between fright, anxiety, sadness, excitement, and happiness. But I guess it's just a part of the process and feelings that are completley natural.

I booked the plane ticket last night! Yey. So next wed, Jan 13th 08.25, The plane departes for US and A! I also booked two nights at a hotel in Anaheim. For those of you who doesn't know where Anaheim is, it's in the O.C area near Disneyland. So if I get bored and want to have some fun I can always visit Disneyland!

Back to the emotions. Last night before I feel asleep I started thinking about how hard it's gonna be to leave everyone here. I know that they're gonna be here when I come back but still. It's close friends and family and it's hard just to say "bye bye, see you in 6 months"! I don't know anyone over there and I bet the first month before I've gotten to know someone is going to be a true test. Since I am known to be what some ppl would call a "quitter", that never finishes things and tend to give up when it gets to tuff or to hard. And especially when I meet emotional difficulties. I am a very sensitive person and I think that I sometimes read to much into stuff and have a tendency to see and take things harder and more personal then they really are. I am aware of this fact, but somehow it gets the best of me over and over again. I just hope that it won't come in my way this time. I think that is my biggest fear, that I when and if I meet emotional difficulties give up and well yeah. But I am going to try with all the power that I have and all the woman that I am to fight this! And once I've passed the test and stepped over that stone I am going to feel secure, happy and good about myself.

Ey, to much emotions there...

Well, I was at the hairdresser this morning. I was supposed to dye and cut my hair but I had forgot to tell my hairdresser that I wanted to dye it, so she didn't have the time to do both. To bad. But I cut it anyway and it feels and looks good. It's not that much shorter but you can tell that I've cut a few inches. I booked another appointment to dye it next week, the day before I leave. So I'm gonna feel fresh, new and nice. With lighter hair then I have now =)

Well, got to go folks. I'm going to meet up with Kattis and Sofie for some shopping and dining.

Until next time, take care!

XoXo - Frieda K*

2010 - A New Year, and please let this be THE year...

Yes folks! The new year has arrived and started. And I've decided since I'm leaving in less then two weeks! OMG, it's that close. Anyways, I've decided that I'm going to start to write in Eng from now on. Hope you're ok with that.

Yes it's true, next wednesday I'm leaving little Sweden to go to the big bad world, USA. I am really excited yet scared and the fact that I'll have to leave all of my wonderful friends behind is not something that I'm looking forward to. I know, I'll find new friends, but still it's hard leaving the one's I have. Well, I guess it's a part of life. They'll be here when I come back. Hopefully =)

So let's see what 2009 had to offer in both good and bad ways, let's start with the good stuff:

* I got my own apartment. That's something that I didn't really expect. But something I'm really happy about. It's not gonna be mine for the next 12 months but still I stand as the "owner" on the contract.

* I found a new very good and close friend in Hanna. Yes, before we only knew eachother as "theatre buddies" but after the trip to Monte Carlo we became close friends.

* I got to go to Monte Carlo again! And this year I got to meet "Ridge" and "Bridget" from "The bold and the beautiful". My friend Hanna wun and brought me along on this trip.

* I decided to take the biggest step in a very long time, to fullfill my dream of becoming an actress. Yes, and that's what I'll be doing (or trying to do) when I in 10 days leave for sunny California. And hopefully find myself along the way...

* I finished an education, I am a receptionist and a conference hostess! Something I can have as a back up plan if my acting plan fails...

Well, I think that was the good stuff that I can remember. Let's move along to the not so good stuff...

* I realised that even if I had an education there were no jobs for me. So there i was with a finsihed degree but couldn't get any use of it since we were still in the "financial crisis".

* I got more and more fixated about my looks, body and who I am. Something that's not so pleasent. I haven't talked much about it, but it's there inside of me everyday almost every hour...

* My economy totally went down the drain. I made less and less money and had to cut down on fun stuff. It's hard beeing "poor" but somehow you learn to appreciate to good solid things in life like friends and family...

* All of my friends, except Sofie, got in a relationship and the happy party days that we used to have ended. Yes, before we used to go out and party almost every weekend all of us. But now not so much...

* Well, I felt generally depressed and low because of different stuff. I guess it's because I wasn't sure in which direction my life was going, but once I decided to take the step to follow my dream I started to feel better...

So folks, what I want to say with this is really, nothing. Well yeah, I want 2010 to be a year where we learn to appreciate the little things in life. Like our friends, our family and the fact that we are healty, we have roof over our heads, food on the table, almost everyday. And hopefully we have money over when all the bills have been paid. Millions of ppl in the world doesn't have anything of this. And we bitch about that we're getting bigger, we have zits, the days are boring, we feel lonley, even if a visit might just be a phonecall away. I know, it's not that easy to just change your mind and start thinking like this. I know I have a long way to go before I get there. But we've got to start somewhere, right? And isn't it so much easier to think about the positive things in life instead of the negative? I have tried and it is starting to take effect somewhere deep inside of me. Maybe the fact that the biggest adventure of my life is gonna happen very soon has something to do with it. Well, just try my friends, please? If not for me, then do it for yourself!

Well, I'm gonna start this new year by hitting the gym soon and lay myself in the solarium. "Light thearpy", I've heard it's a good thing. =)

Until next time, try to think positive and see if it can bring you some peace. If not, well try to find something else that can...

XoXo - Frieda K*