It is so easy to forget the "good" and "solid" things when you're sorrounded by them constantly. It's easy to take them for granted. Which I think I sometimes did. And the easy, sometimes "boring" life as I used to say my life in Sweden was, was not something I really though I'd miss when I came here. But I do. It comes down to the fact that it's what you make of your life and the ppl around you and it becomes what you make it to become. If you're gonna go around and dislike your life because of some reason and just get up every morning thinking that it is that way, then ofcourse it's going to be. But if you get up and try to look on the positive side and have a positive attitude towards it and try to enjoy the good things, even if they might not be big. Then it will be that way! I know it might not always be easy. But I'vbe tried to do that lately and it works. Ok, I'm over here in the Entertainmnet Capitol of the world, living in a fancy house, going to school studying acting, having a good friend with me most of the times, sunlight, and lots of things to do. Then of coursde it's easy for me to sit here and say that you should enjoy life. But I've also realised that in this midst of overwhelmingness that exist here I actually miss the simple life in Sweden, and amy friends ofcourse (which i've stated many times!). I love being here in L.A, don't get me wrong there and I don't regret for a second that I decided to come here the first time, and also going back the second time this semester.
But, if I were to move here and create a life, an everyday normal life for myself thing would change drastically. Let's just say that I wouldn't get a part in a movie or TV show. Then I'd have to try to find a job, if I could, but let's just say that I could. I'd take myself, my social status (being middle or working class, cuz that's what I am in Sweden) move it from Sweden to here, it'd not be the same at all. The job would take all my time, and I probably wouldn't get paid as good as I would in Sweden. I'd have to find an apartment, but I couldn't afford to live by myself so I'd probably have to get two or three roommates since the rents are so high. So I'd probably live in a small space with other ppl paying just as much for a room as I would for an own apt in Sweden. And then I'd have to get medical insurance, which is not cheap. So my entire salary would probably go to paying bills. If I'd met someone and eventually we'd have a kid, I could only stay home as a mom for about 6 weeks before I have to go back to work and my expenses would be even higher. I'd have to put off a lot of money every month to my kids College fund and I would not have time or energy to do all the fun stuff I do know, and if I by any chance would be pregnant unplanned, causwe those things can happen evem with birth control pills, I'd probably have to keep it anyhow since it's not as easy to consider abortion. Ok, I'll just stop there.
I'm sorry, I'm not meaning to trash USA, it's a wonderful country in so many ways! And I love it here! But it's just the fact that as a middle or working class woman that I am I could not have the same "good" life as I can in Sweden. So basiclly what I want to say is, well I'm not really sure actually. I guess I just want to say that Swedes should appreciate what they have and what a great country it actually is. Even if there are many flaws and issues that needs to be dealth with. I just wish I could have both worlds. Oh, shit I've totally mixed so many things in this post, I'm not even sure if any of it makes any sense, but I hope no one from any of the countries take this the wrong way. Cuz I totally love both Sweden and L.A. And it is because of my visit and stay here that I've become this "new" person that I kinda feel that I am. And that would not have been possible without L.A. And i'll forever be grateful to that. I just hope and wish that more ppl come here and go through what I've been through. It's a really nice experince and I'll miss this place till' death! I'm really confused, sorry again. I'm just rambling on.
But ok, I think I'm just gonna end this post right now before I start going off the deep end I don't know just write more strange stuff. As a last thing I just want to say that I feel like a new person, seriously. I have a new perspective on life, how to approach it, what to appreciate, and what not to waste so much time on. And also, love and guys comes when it's ready, no need to rush. (ha ha, you never thought I'd say that did you!) If I'd been in a relationship I'd never have gone here, and to think that I'd miss all this makes me really scared. Ok, just don't read in t much of what I've written in this post, sometimes the thoughts in my head and the words that actually comes out and forms into words are not always the same, it kinda collapses or crashes along the way...
Until next time...TAKE CARE and BE SAFE! Love You ALL! You know who you are! =)
Gothenburg and L.A/O.C (I know it's different, but these are the two places I feel "home")
